unenlightenment haiku
What I really wanted to do was post these. I read once that a haiku is supposed to be written in a moment of enlightenment. That’s a lot of pressure, I think, not to mention the whole 17 syllables thing.
My eye a clear lake
A fly is taking a long drink
It really is a very long drink.
I just thought
It was quite a nice flower, OK
Excuse me for breathing!
Right that was fun
Right then now what?
Oh yeah.
bea said,
January 20, 2007 at 5:51 am
don’t want to be a bore (can any of chloe’s friends be boring?!) but a haiku is officially the structure of 3 Lines – Lines 1,2,3 have 5,7,5 syllables respectively. so you could do something like:
meditate poems
saturate souls with rhythm
let words be alive
farandfew said,
January 22, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Thanks for sharing that, Bea. I see your point and proper haiku are truly beautiful, it’s not that I don’t respect the rhythm – I do! And I know that the form doesn’t sap life from the words at all – it’s quite the opposite. You say it quite right
But for me meditation at the moment is mostly about accepting imperfection; sometimes my soul just ain’t saturated with rhythm and that’s the fact of it
hannah said,
February 13, 2007 at 12:14 am
Even Bassho wasn’t strict about syllables. Haiku should actually contain a season marker as well, such as a cherry blossom or a crocus, and Bassho rarely forgot these, though in the most extreme cases he even dropped these. Haiku are not rhythmic. They exist to surprise. They should make you laugh. I think these haiku are pretty good. I especially like the fly one. I had a similar experience with the mosquitoes in Thailand. I sat there for half an hour allowing them to bite me all over my face, but then when my alarm went off I was most definitely going back to my room. It was one of the most pleasant meditations I had: concentrating on not being distracted by biting insects was a lot easier for me than not being distracted by thoughts. But there’s a limit!